That’s better
Afternoon tea was thought to have been invented in the 1800s by the seventh Duchess of Bedford, to revive her flagging energy.
What’s needed, said the seventh duchess Anna,
is something to relieve that sinking feeling
one gets between one’s luncheon and one’s dinner.
It must be light and visually appealing –
a tasty snack spread out before the drawing
room fire without a fuss. One wants no kneeling
servants. Such politesse would be a bore. In
truth, a simple meal, aiming not to fatten
the calling guests. And I shall serve them! Pouring
out drinks, passing round almond squares of Batten-
burg cake – what fun for one! – and Bourbon biscuits
to effect a cosmopolitan pattern.
Sweet maids of honour will not come amiss. It’s
said they’re named for Anne Boleyn. She’s history.
Yet though she never tasted married bliss, bits
of that hatched-up match remain a mystery.
But enough of this confection. A starter?
Something tart would suit those less than sisterly
companions. One shrinks to be a martyr
to fashion although novelty’s a must lest
one appears passé: knights of the garter
tell how John Sandwich placed salt beef twixt crustless
bread. So shall I! Though who’ll recall that sinner
when there is one whose claim to fame’s more just? Yes,
t’was while out East, a diplomat beginner,
that Charlie Grey sniffed bergamot so ardently.
With one small sip he knew he’d brewed a winner.
Such a piquant aromatic subtlety:
it’s what one wants right now – a cup of tea.