Working towards
dear mr baker
our Jaydens cum home with
out is football short’s
im sorry they didnt hav is
name in but they did hav
st mickel on the lable plese
wud you chek al the uther’s
to see hwos got is
Class Two, in maths today
we’re going to draw a graph
about clothes and football. So
first, all go to the cloakroom –
you can stay here, Jayden – and
bring your PE shorts. No, Lucas,
there’s no need to put them on,
just bring them.
Now, at last you’re back –
Dylan, take them off your head,
no-one thinks it’s clever – right,
settle down and hold them up –
shoulder-height will do, Noah –
showing the label at the back
so I can see clearly
as I walk round...
Who’d have thought
so many Mums would have
the cash to shop at Marks
but not a pen to print a name
or maybe that’s not
what’s lacking – this bunch
must have got their brains
from somewhere.
Eighteen minutes still to go
before the bell and
eighteen years till I can
hang my whistle.
I’m index-linked but, even so,
fingers crossed shares
in M&S continue
to flourish.